my soul wont recognize me after tonight
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
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I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
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I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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