I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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