his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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