i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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