Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Why are your pants in the freezer?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
