My room smells like vodka and shame
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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