It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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