the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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