I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
