conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
