u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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