I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
