so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
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New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
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he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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