The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Randomize
