Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
