I think im going to throw up on grandma
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
