office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
