oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
