Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
