There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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