and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
