Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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