I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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