Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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