after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
