it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
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