He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
