he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
