You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
