Having a random hookup so left but love u
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
