butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I need help removing her.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
