Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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