you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
