Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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