Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
