Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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