Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
