I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
