You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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