So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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