well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize