everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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