He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
