So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
