Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My bed smells like the plague
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
