Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
