we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
