Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
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There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
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i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize