No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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