If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
