Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
