doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
