john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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