are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She announced her abortion via fbk
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Randomize
