he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
two words: eviction party
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
