We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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