Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize