9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
