there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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