you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
